in remembrance

i want to say as a non-family member that this is a beautiful thing to do and something i plan to never have happen in my name. thank you for reminding me why.

 

i'm glad i never made my numerous plans reality like Sky did but my manic depression has resulted in days and weeks spent in contemplation over choosing the method, time and place of my death.  in honor of my child, i chose meds and a hospital instead. (lucky for me, i never thought i could pull it off without leaving myself worse off than i started and without the ability to complete the job).

 

i am touched by your tribute in ways you cannot imagine as it reminds me of why i choose to stay alive at times when anything but here was where i wanted to be.

 

i don't believe in life after the last breath but your memories and tribute to your loved one keeps him alive and although i never met him, it brought him alive to me.

 

Ruth

Happy Birthday Sky

Sky,

Hey, it's your birthday and I should be e-mailing you with a "happy birthday", but instead I'm writing here. It doesn't feel right, but it is the way it is.

Rebecca and I have been thinking about you a lot, and some days we feel your presence more than others. Today was particularly strong and fitting. We've become community activists in our neighborhood, for a cause we think you would have supported and enjoyed hearing about. In fact, this morning we were interviewed by the local news and the story was aired this evening. We don't think this was some random coincidence it being on your birthday and all.

Today was a beautiful day as well, the only sunny day (with clear skies) we've had all month. We can't help but think you had something to do with that. It reminded us of how the weather cleared out just in time for your memorial.

Still, it seems we should be enjoying all of this with you: kicking back with a beer and laughing about how silly I looked on TV and then making silly noises that referenced all of the video games we played in college. However with everything that we've seen and felt today, we know that you're still with us.

Happy Birthday Sky--we love you and miss you.

Love,
Mikey & Becka

February 17, 1979

Happy Birthday Sky
wherever you are. Thinking
about you and loving you
and missing you and wishing
you were here.

xoxox, your brother-in-law,
John

birthday

Your birthday is coming, little bro. I don't know why but so far of all the shitty milestones that we've all passed through these past 6 months, this one is looming the largest for me. To say that I miss you is the understatement of a lifetime. When you died, baby brother, my heart cracked open and the person that I was died then, too. (Which, to tell the absolute truth, isn't necessarily a bad thing. But that's another story.) Suffice it to say that you are missed, body and soul. Three days until your birthday now, the day when you would have turned 29 years old. Missing you. Loving you.

Hey Sky

I am slogging through the 500+ photos I took during our Holiday visit to Nick & Shannon's house. Got some great shots of your niece & nephews playing in the snow, building igloos, unwrapping presents, playing with their new stuff. There's a bunch of the kids lined up on the upper bunk while C1 pelts mini-marshmallows at them with the blow-dart thing he got from O & H. You would have loved that. You would have been right there in the middle of it, bombarding the kids with marshmallows, making a big mess and laughing wildly, getting all the kids riled up and in "trouble," not caring about the aftermath, just enjoying the now and the great fun of it all.

It was two years ago we were all there together for what we didn't know then would be the last time. I have a bunch of great photos from that visit; I especially love the one of you with your sibs flipping me off as I take the picture.

It's weird how much I miss you, how much your non-presence in these current photos feels so just plain wrong, like in that Back to the Future episode where the brother fades out of the photo because the past was altered. Where are you, Sky? I want you in these pictures, damn it. You're over four months gone now but if anything the ache of your absence grows more acute with every photo I offload that you're not in. I guess it's good in a way (I am desperately hoping) -- maybe this is the way that for me the reality of your forever goneness will finally sink in and I can stop wishing for what can't be undone, stop wanting what I can never have, stop imagining that instead of a gun you picked up a phone that night and called your brother, called your sisters, called your lover, called someone, called anyone....

I am so, so tired of thinking about what should have been, what should be -- how, for example, you and D (who you would have gone nuts over) will never know each other; how all the ways you would have been such an amazing influence on your niece and nephews as they grew up will never happen now; how all their memories of you will swirl away in the vale of time and "Uncle Sky" will be known by name only. And I am so mad that I have to accept the unacceptable, that I can't change the past, that what's done is done. Damn it. Damn it, Sky.

Merry Christmas, bro

This year it's strangely quiet. No sounds of you whipping the little ones into a frenzy playing with their new stuff. No big Sky laughing from the other room. No unexpected slaps to the back of my head as you pass by, followed by your Cheshire Cat smile as you wish me a "Merry Christmas".

I miss you, and the tree and the kids and the gifts and the crumpled wrapping make it more so.

Yeah, it's quieter than usual.

Nick

A Big Thank You!

We want to say a big Thank You to Baron Davis, a high school friend of Sky's, for making an extraordinary donation of $5000 to the Sky Rashby Memorial Fund at Caltech.

When Baron heard about Sky's death, he dedicated the Golden State Warriors opening night game to Sky. He also pledged to donate $200 per point he scored that evening. Baron scored an awesome 25 points, making for the $5000 donation. Thanks to Baron and the efforts of his assistant, Lori, Sky's nephews had great seats to watch all the action in Oakland that night -- and got cool Warriors jerseys. The experience was such a bright spot in what has otherwise been an incredibly difficult time.

So, thank you, Baron. Your kindness means a lot to our family.

And, thank you, Lori. It has been nice getting to know you and we appreciate everything you've done behind the scenes.

With admiration,
The Rashby Family

P.S. For information on the Sky Rashby Memorial Fund, go to http://web.gps.caltech.edu/memorial/sky_rashby.html.

How beautiful the ones who love

From afar, one could say
All hell broke loose and
Heaven rained its tears
On you

And yet (and yet)
The beauty in your face
Belies that hell
Even exists

And that the heaven that is partly
Sky (is now and ever shall be...)
Still sheds its love and light
On you

You are invited to view Sky's Memorial Service photo album Sky's Memorial Service Topanga, CA - Sep 22, 2007 Snapshots at Sky's Memorial Service by Anna Maria Austin (THANKS!) View Album Play slideshow

Caltech's Sky Rashby Memorial Fund announcement in the Topanga Messenger

Caltech Establishes Memorial Fund in Honor of Sky Rashby

The Division of Geophysical and Planetary Sciences (GPS) at California Institute of Technology, where Topanga native Sky Rashby was pursuing doctoral studies at the time of his recent death, has announced the creation of a memorial fund in Rashby's honor. The Caltech community is reaching out to Sky's friends and older family members in Topanga in hopes of eliciting support for the fund, according to Alex Sessions, Rashby's doctoral advisor at Caltech, who spoke movingly at the recent memorial for Rashby at the Inn of the Seventh Ray.

"We remember Sky Rashby for his endless energy as a scientist, his care for world issues as well as the people around him, and we remember him for his big hair and contagious laugh," said Caltech's Aleen Boladian in announcing the establishment of the memorial fund. "The Sky Rashby Memorial Fund will be used to further the efforts of members of the Caltech community in support of environmental awareness, scientific outreach and activism," said Boladian, "causes and values [Sky] supported passionately."

The GPS division, in consultation with representatives of GPS students and post docs, the Geobiology faculty, and Sky Rashby's family, will select proposals which the memorial fund will support throughout the year.

Further information on the fund and its purpose is available at the GPS website (Sky Rashby Memorial Fund) along with information on how to contribute. "We hope this fellowship and our community effort to build it will be both an opportunity to conceive new ideas on issues that extend beyond academic life and a greater recognition of the role Sky played in our lives," said Boladian.
________________________________________________

(Blog note: The link to Caltech's Sky Rashby Memorial Fund page in the Topanga Messenger is inaccurate. It is corrected here.)

Photos from Sky's Memorial Service

With apologies for taking so long to post these and with thanks to Anna Maria Austin for taking these, here are some snapshots from Sky's Memorial Service.

Agouron Institute Donation to the Sky Rashby Memorial Fund

With profound gratitude we announce that the Agouron Institute, a private foundation that issues grants to research institutions and universities in selected areas of biology and chemistry, has made a very generous contribution in the amount of $20,000 to the Sky Rashby Memorial Fund.

Following is a personal message from the Agouron Institute Program Director:

Please accept my personal condolences for the loss of Sky. We all have such wonderful memories of him. The Agouron Institute wants to give the Sky Rashby Memorial Fund a good jump start to enable his fellow students, colleagues, and friends to continue his commitment to scientific outreach and activism. We know many of Sky's friends would not be financially able to contribute much to the fund so we felt with a bit of a boost our contribution might encourage others who are more able to do likewise.

Sincerely,
Joan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joan A. Kobori, PhD

Program Director

The Agouron Institute

1055 E. Colorado Blvd., Suite 250

Pasadena, CA 91106 USA

tel: (626) 577-0500

fax: (626) 577-0800